1 – DogWorld

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Astronaut: “Crap! Hold on! This is gonna be a rough landing!”

Engineer: “And here I forgot to renew my life insurance.” 

Astronaut: “Very funny. Look out!” 

(crash) 

Engineer: “Where the heck are we? What a strange planet. According to my lifeform readings, the air is breathable, but the planet appears to be mostly inhabited by dogs.” 

Astronaut: “Haha. DogWorld.” 

Engineer: “Yup. It pretty much appears that they are running the show. I see various bands roaming around. Based on the video from our orbiting drone, their technology is pretty much nonexistent. They seem to be at the same level of intellect as our dogs back home.” 

A: “You mean, they’re dog smart? Sort of like you?” 

E: “Very funny, genius. Hmm. I wonder what they will think about us?” 

A: “Yeah, if they are the most intelligent lifeform around here, they are in for a shock. Hey, Big Dog, move over! There’s a new kid in town! Haha.” 

E: “But will they even know?” 

A: “Know what?” 

E: “That we are smarter than they are?” 

A: “Hmm. Good question.” 

E: “Hey, I wonder if we would know?”

A: “Know what?” 

E: “Well, what if an alien ship crash landed on earth, full of beings way smarter than us? Would we even know it? Look at our science fiction movies. They always assume that outer space aliens are of equal intelligence. Doesn’t seem very realistic.” 

A: “Maybe, but it would be easy to spot super-intelligent aliens. Their technology would give them away.” 

E: “Not necessarily. While they might have more advanced technology, that doesn’t automatically mean they are smarter than us. They might have simply been around for longer and had more time to discover things. 

“After all, if modern humans went back in time to 500 years ago, our technology would make us look like Gods. But would we really be smarter? Biologically the human brain hasn’t changed much in the past 500 years. We wouldn’t really be any smarter, just more technologically advanced.” 

A: “Ah, good point. While we modern humans might be trained to think more logically, we wouldn’t be ‘human smart’ compared to their ‘dog smart’. Just more advanced due to the passage of time.”

A: “Besides, there are a lot of folks back home on good ol’ planet earth that I wouldn’t exactly categorize as logical thinkers.”

E: “Amen to that! Logical thinking seems to be in short supply these days.”

A: “Come to think of it, I wonder if my own dog really knows how much smarter I am? I mean, how would he know?”

E: “Who knows what goes through the minds of dogs?” 

A: “Who knows what goes through the minds of humans?”

E: “Haha. Yeah, maybe the aliens wouldn’t know what we are thinking. But if they were a lot smarter than us, they certainly would know that. I mean, we know that we are smarter than dogs, right? Maybe the dogs don’t know it, but we sure know it.”

A: “Yup. Like that scummy pond water my dog loves to drink. He always ends up getting sick. I have tried explaining it to him, but he is a dog, after all.” 

E: “Haha! My dog steals peanut butter cups. Ends up barfing every time.” 

A: “And to make matters worse, in addition to their limited intellect, dogs can’t control their base instincts. Their reasoning powers are insufficient to overcome their passions. Foolish beasts!” 

E: “Yeah, good thing we aren’t like that.” 

A: “Speak for yourself. I’m still in denial about the connection between my excess donut consumption and the donut around my waist.” 

E: “But at least you are aware of the problem and trying to do something about it. Dogs are completely clueless.” 

A: “Yeah, but being aware of a problem and having the ability to solve it are two different things.” 

E: “I wonder if there are problems that we humans can’t even see? Just like our dogs? Maybe we’re doing a lot of dumb dog stuff ourselves, and are completely unaware of it. I mean, if you follow the logic of dogs to humans to super-smart aliens, maybe we’re in the same sorry state as our dogs. Unaware of the world around us. Unable to control our base instincts, or to grasp the complex realities right under our own snouts.” 

A: “I suppose from the Alien’s perspective that would make sense. Haha. The Alien View.” 

E: “I’m not sure that people would take too kindly to the idea that we’re really just a bunch of dumb dogs.” 

A: “Yeah, probably not. Let’s hope no super-smart aliens come along any time soon. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to move down the intelligence ladder. I like being on top!” 

E: “Yeah, me too. Haha. Woof, woof.” 

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