45 – BiscuitCoin Blues

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Little Dog: “Gee, Big Dog, I am so disappointed.” 

Big Dog: “About what, Little Dog?” 

Little Dog: “Well, I bought some of that new cryptocurrency BiscuitCoin. But the price keeps jumping around like a frog on a pancake griddle! Worst of all, it’s gone down since I bought it. Not sure why, though.” 

Big Dog: “I know why.” 

Little Dog: “Really? Did you buy some, too?” 

Big Dog: “I wouldn’t touch that stuff with a ten foot pole. Very dangerous.” 

Little Dog: “I dunno. A lot of people have made big profits with it. Plus, it gives you privacy. A currency that can’t be controlled by the government gives us regular dogs more power! We yearn to be free!” 

Big Dog: “Uh huh. And a lot of dogs have lost their shirts. And free from what exactly?” 

Little Dog: “Why, free from currency manipulation! Every government-issued currency is inevitably debased at some point due to excess money printing, and out-of-control promises made by corrupt politicians who are only interested in getting reelected. It’s a race to the bottom of the currency pile! We need a stable currency whose value won’t change over time. A currency that we regular dogs control. Not those selfish politicians.”

Big Dog: “Would you like a soapbox to stand on?” 

Little Dog: “Very funny, but these are serious concerns. I’m still a young dog. I want to use a currency that I can control. A currency that will hold its value over time, and not be manipulated.” 

Big Dog: “Little Dog, are you aware that governments are now talking about having their own digital currencies?” 

Little Dog: “Of course! Digital currencies are the wave of the future! And the future is here! But if we allow only central banks and governments to have digital currencies, we’re in even more trouble. It’ll be even easier for those nasty politicians to create more of them and debase their value. Plus, the government will be able to stick their nose into every aspect of our lives. Every financial transaction will be tracked. What about privacy? What about freedom?”

Big Dog: “Go, Little Dog, go! Let me get that soapbox for you. And while you’re on your little rant, there’s one more question I have.” 

LIttle Dog: “What’s that?”

Big Dog: “What about competition?” 

Little Dog: “Yes, good point! My BiscuitCoins are competing against all those manipulated government currencies. Soon the people will rise up as one and challenge the old order!”

Big Dog: “Hmmm.. Your “new order” doesn’t sound very new to me. Sounds instead like the old days when private banks issued their own currencies. As I recall, that didn’t end too well. 

Little Dog: “Well, this time is different!” 

Big Dog: “Little Dog, do you know what a crypt is?” 

Little Dog: “Crypt?”

Big Dog: “It’s a burial place. Used to store coffins with dead bodies in them.”

Little Dog: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Big Dog: “Cryptocurrencies are dead bodies. That’s where the name comes from.” 

Little Dog: “Haha. Very funny. Nothing of the sort. The name comes from cryptography. Secure communication. In this case, secure from government interference.”

Big Dog: “And do you know why cryptocurrencies are dead bodies?”

Little Dog: “I’m not listening to this. You sound like Grumpy Grampa. I don’t have time for your negativity.” 

Big Dog: “Because of the question I asked you before.” 

Little Dog: “What question?”

Big Dog: “Competition. What about competition?”

Little Dog: “What about it?” 

Big Dog: “Governments don’t like it. They don’t like the idea of private currencies competing against them. That’s why the two richest and most powerful nations on DogWorld are already taking action to harness it. And eventually, they’ll get control of it.”

Little Dog: “Never! Power to the people! We regular dogs are the real power in this world! And BiscuitCoin is our ticket to freedom!” 

Big Dog: “And who are the people exactly? Who’s in charge of securing the integrity of cryptocurrencies?”

Little Dog: “Oh, well, it’s very technical. You wouldn’t understand.” 

Big Dog: “I see. Hey, do you remember that pesky little fly in the house last week?” 

Little Dog: “That thing? Ugh, so annoying! I spent two days snapping at it. Never was able to catch it, though.” 

BIg Dog: “Have you seen it around lately?”

Little Dog: “No.” 

Big Dog: “That’s because the minute that fly entered our doghouse, he was doomed. Why? Because we’re not going to tolerate a pesky fly in our house, are we?”

Little: “So what happened to it?” 

Big Dog: “I squashed it with my dog bowl. Turned it into mush. Then, I scooped up the remains and gave it a proper burial in the backyard. Even made a gravestone for it.”

Little Dog: “What does it say?” 

Big Dog: “CryptoFly. May he rest in peace.”

Little Dog: “Woof!”

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